(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

Do they have friending frenzy things here like they do sometimes on lj?


Had dreams about Ma's death again. I need to talk about it, but there is no one to talk to.

I need something as I need to get out of the sad and get back to making things. Maybe I can paint my orange dinosaur tonight.

Maybe work on some jewelry. I wanted to work on a line of pins that would use ceramic charms made by me.

And I have a painting in my head...

...but the mourning is ... hard....

Comments

[cmcmck]

I think they do, but I'm not one for those.

Hugs

[kaishin108]

Mourning is SO hard loosing a parent. Especially a mother. I lost my mom in 2002 and it took me SOOOO long to get over it, I feel for you. I hope you can find someone local to talk to about it :-(
Sending you good thoughts.

[ravena_kade]

There was nothing wrong with My Mom but a broken arm and cataracts. Her vision closed she fell and she finally would let us take her to a hospital. We tried for years to get her eyes looked at.

We were told over and over that the fall was a blessing and that the car act could be fixed. I scheduled they eye appointment, but because of the arm and blindness I could not take care of her at home. so we had to have her in rehab for a month until the arm would allow he to use a walker. She was scanned from head to toe and she healthier than I am... and then she was exposed to C-diff in either the hospital or rehab and she died within 2 weeks... I feel I killed her by not being able to get her pain killers because she never had a primary care.

The visiting nurse called every medical person that saw her in the ER, but no one would prescribe a week's worth until she was stable to go to a primary care doc so I had to take her back and they had to keep her and they gave her something that would kill her.

and I have no money or time off for a therapist. And people in my real life don't want to talk.

It is hard.

[kaishin108]

That is awful about your poor Mom! I am so sorry. That C-diff is a horrible thing. My Dad died from that and yes, he too probably got it at the rest home :-(

Isn't it weird how others don't want to talk about it when something so sad and hard to deal with happens? When my Mom died, her sister, my favorite aunt at the time basically told me to get over it, jeez. I was so angry but no one wanted to hear that either, pffft. I ended up doing a lot of art and writing. I hope you can find a good way to express your pain.

Are you also on LJ? I am kaishin108 there if you are.

[ravena_kade]

I am not sure if I am angry or just hurt. I get that my Dad is an old fashioned type of male and can't/won't talk...and that y sister is half a country away ( she was able to see my Mom before she passed, but Mom was not awake), but relatives from out of state showed up and needed to be entertained. My Mom didn't want any services, but then people I know just sent an email saying sorry for your loss... and that's it. I have seen no one. None of my friends have even called me.

I want to do art and write, but for the most part I am now trying to figure out all the bills coming in for my Dad and pay them as best I can...and now I am cooking and cleaning and doing everything in 2 apartments and I am overwhelmed.

It's hard.

And yes, I am at lj. Same name. I will look you up.