(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

17 Days post op. Dad physically is doing well. Yesterday I was alone with him all day and he would not do anything that he was supposed to do and was grouchy with me all day. They say this is common post op. It frustrates me and makes me feel like a servant. He would not get ready for bed so I could go to sleep myself. There is a specific process to bed time that involves changing over from battery to wall power. That and if he falls asleep in his chair and the batteries run out he could die.

He is also forgetting things. He forgot that my friend Evie had died. I said it was okay and that this is from the anesthesia... and he was mad at me. He is refusing to drink 2000ml of water. Before he would over drink and I would have to change meals and meds to deal with the fluid overload. Now it is important to drink to keep the pump going properly and he is refusing.

Today I was up at 6 AM and did chores until 7 PM. My SIL offered to take me to a market to bulk food buy, but they did not show up until after 2. A physical therapist called me before 8 AM today and wanted to come at 11. They tried to call my sister but didn't get an answer. I said it was because it is before 8 AM on a Sunday and she is probably still asleep.

I cooked a meal for the day we have a 3 PM dr appointment and then did fish for tonight. WE ate and they and they left. Leaving me with the dishes. So now I am buying food for 4 people while paying for everything in the house since Dad has no income. Cooking for 4 people and cleaning up after everyone. I am rather grouchy about the whole thing. This is not what I wanted.

Comments

[fionaniconnor]

Y'know, because more stress is a thing you need right now.

[disneydream06]

{{{HUGS}}}

I hope your dad settles out soon from the surgery/drugs and stuff.

That was super early to be calling people especially for an 11 am appointment. :o

And what's there to say about sister. :(
Hugs, Jon

[fbhjr]

I'm sorry you family is not supportive.
It's good you do all you do, but it shouldn't be just you doing it. That is certain.

[cmcmck]

This!

[chris_warrior]

so much this. <3

[gwendraith]

Sorry you are so stressed because you are not supported well enough and your dad is difficult to handle post op. Hope it all settles down soon. *Hugs*

[guy_todd]

I can't believe no one is stepping up to help with at least food buying! Grrrr...

[malterre]

You are doing what you can. Not sure why your sister and partner have no situational awareness. :(

[palusbuteo]

Arrgh!

[palusbuteo]

I wonder if you could remind your Dad how his doctors said he was a "rockstar" with the surgery et. al. and how he needs to keep up with the new routine and procedure because hw wouldn't want to disappoint them or worse end up with complications post-op and have to go back to the hospital.

since he's becoming more of a child, I dunno, reverse-psychology or something.

I also think about you setting up stronger boundaries with your SIL and others when it comes to guests for dinner and going shopping and stuff.

I understand it's a little bit of a compromise when someone offers to drive you somewhere and you're technically on their schedule, but at the same time, if they're offering to help YOU they need to be considerate of YOUR time and schedule. If they refuse to accommodate you just a little bit, I dunno, I hope you'd have some other means but sounds like you're kinda "stuck" and that really blows.

leaving after you cooked dinner for everyone and not even offering to help clean up even if just a little is a dick move.

[chris_warrior]

i was going to suggest the gentle reminders of how everyone at the hospital was flattering him, too. just from my perspective dealing with mom, it sometimes helps. is it manipulative? hell, yes. but IMHO the only thing that matters in the end is that he drinks, and at least has an opportunity at making good on this second chance. it'd be WAY better if you were getting help gently maneuvering him into self-care, but... i get it.

stubborn brain issues are the worst brain issues. <3