ravena_kade

The celebration of life has come and gone. The undertaker brought the cremains. There is nothing comforting to me about seeing your friend of 45 years reduced to inert materials and a photo on a prayer card. The undertaker was very nice... but she brought the cremains box in one of those bags you can buy at the grocery stores for shopping, but it had an advertisement for her funeral home on it.... I was standing with DQ's brother Jay, who is dying of cancer he is choosing to ignore, and bought him a drink as well. I told him that today would be interesting for me... and filled him in on my predictions for the day.

Evie's narcissist friend tried to corner me, but because I predicted it with Jay, he blocked her and said she go complain to DQ.

I got to hear how much Evie's healthcare proxy did for her and how grateful everyone was... and Jay bought me another drink.

Then I was called out for not being social with the people from the old ceramics class... didn't see that coming... Ummm... I have a lot on my mind at the moment. Jay just said "F@ck em"

One of DQ's friend's son in law knew Evie and suggested that the closest people step into the pub and have a shot in her honor. I went with Jay and DQ and it was actually nice. At 7 pm my Dad called looking for me and wondering what was for supper and that he forgot his 4PM meds. What should he do? Take the meds...you are still alive and there is cereal or left overs for dinner. Oi.

Sunday I went to the cousins to mostly see my Aunt. I made a pasta dinner (all low sodium...blah) and brought it over. My Aunt was quiet and the girls were so so so loud. I think the younger cousin needs karma to kick her in the ass. The lead cousin just needs to stop being made to lead. And cancer cousin needs to wear her hearing aids so they will all stop yelling.

I did have a nice conversation with my Aunt. She enjoyed last week's wedding and wished she could have danced. She remembered all of it. She wants a big party for her 100th birthday and wants to have a band. Okay. And she wants it like a cocktail party the way the wedding was. She knows it's 3 years away, but thinks her kids should start planning now. Oh boy.

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gwendraith

It sounds like a mixed bag but I'm glad there were some good moments.

I hope your aunt gets her cocktail birthday party when she reaches the grand age of 100! 🎈

palusbuteo

Foof.

"how much Evie's healthcare proxy did for her" Yup.

Pasta dinner - Can you add salt to your dish?

Hearing aids - Yeah. My paternal grandmother ignored the hearing loss for a few years and my Dad would end up yelling into the phone and repeating himself like 3-4 times on his weekly calls. And visiting her was awkward because she'd hug us kids and it would set off some sort of alert alarm you could hear inside the hearing aid and she'd be wincing and immediately turn them off.....And then would refuse to put them back on so we'd have to talk loudly, etc. She was such a sweet wonderful woman who very much wanted to be social and in with the conversation, but the hearing loss left her just kinda grinning & nodding and pretending she was listening when she wasn't and it was so painfully obvious she was miserable not being able to follow along, but, had a lot of trouble with those hearing aids. I think at some point either Dad or Aunt got fed up and spent the money on an upgrade and it was almost a light switch got turned on. But then she was in her 80s and really couldn't be on her own. But anyway

Somewhat funny story when my Maternal grandfather had to have The Talk about getting hearing aids, he ended up with some sort of promotional VHS tape with well-known people and celebrities including Surgeon General Everett Koop and Leslie Nelson. So we the family and grampy had a day where we all sat down and watched the VHS together. it was an...experience....

Koop had a story where he kept hearing a weird noise when he was driving somewhere in the car, but, his mechanic said nothing was wrong with the car...and then one day he realized it was the key chain knocking against the steering column. Grampy laughed his ass off. It was one of those awkward moments where it sort of broke the tension a little bit, and it was being self-deprecating but also "this was the reality moment"

So anyway.

Also, glad you had a wingman looking out for you to distract the Narcissist from you.

disneydream06

Why do so many people have to be jerks around death. :( :( :(

Good of you to bite your tongue about the proxy's praise. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nice to hear your Aunt was so alert. :)
I say plan your party Auntie. Give her something to do, and look forward to. :)
Hugs, Jon