(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

Dad is not coming home this weekend. Today I was told that his kidneys have weakened in 2 days so much that they won't give him the meds that made him feel better over the last year. He either needs the electric heart pump or die. Or if the kidneys have gotten to the point where they won't rally then they won't give him the heart operation and he will die.

My head can't handle the financials. My pay can't handle the house.

I told the doctor I understand the procedure completely. It's the financial ramifications. I can't be out of work 2 2 or more months for the recovery. Family leave here is not 100% of my pay.

Sadly I had to call for help as I was too upset to ride the T. A cousin came to get me.

I need to find someone unattached to my family who can help me navigate this...and not make me Tyrion Lannister by killing my Mother and Father. Is there such a thing as a therapist/elder advisor/financial planner person?

Comments

[kaishin108]

Oh dear, I'm so sorry.

I thought you wanted to rent out part of your house. I know it's hard to think about all that right now. I really feel for you.

[ravena_kade]

I had wanted to rent an apartment in the future. I would keep my apartment and use the income from the other as part of my retirement. Right now I would have to live in my apartment and move dad up here, but the apartments are too small. I wouldn't have any life or any privacy.

[kaishin108]

I'm so sorry.

[fionaniconnor]

Hospitals have social workers who specialize in this kind of thing. Ask Dad's medical team to send the hospitalist to you and s/he can guide you through the process.

This is an awful time in an awful process and I am heartsick for you.

[ravena_kade]

I just feel like I am not a person but just someone attached to him as a life support machine. Everyone expects me top loose everything.

Last year when Dad went through the evaluation I talked to a financial person and while I was told insurance would cover the procedure for medications I could not afford and housing issues I should start a go fund me.

I will see if there is a social worker.

[fionaniconnor]

Did you know that GoFundMe is America's largest provider of Healthcare cost funding?

It's batshit crazy.

[ravena_kade]

Yeah. It's sad.

[fionaniconnor]

Does your town have a commission for the elderly? Check them out and see. They may have some resources for ya too.

[disneydream06]

I am so sorry to hear that news.
Was your dad told, does he understand?

I hope you can find somebody to talk over things with.
HUGS, Jon

[ravena_kade]

They told him before they told me. Then I went upstairs to see him and was blind sided by the whole thing.

He knows that they would core out his heart and that he would have an electrical cord coming out of his body and he could never get wet again. I flat out told him that I would never get on a plane with him out of pure anxiety.

He thinks we can reverse mortgage the house.

He does not understand what it will do to me to loose my own space. No family does.

I'd love to put him in the cellar, but I'd need a small bathroom. I wish I could drywall.

[disneydream06]

Sending tons of positive vibes your way.

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}