(no subject)
Sep. 1st, 2024 08:48 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravena_kadeToday it was supposed to rain so I planned on going to the cousins to see my Aunt. Sadly in the week since she has been home she has had a HUGE mental decline. It's like she is a different person.
She is moaning almost all the time. She is talking to Jesus. The cousins are yelling asking what is wrong and want to fix things...but the yelling isn't helping. The moaning and odd breathing is usually one of three things... pain, a presentation of a type of dementia, or end of life stuff. My grandmother was that way for 6 months before she passed and it was a form of dementia. My mother was that way too.
I asked my Aunt if she would like to sit in her room and we could talk. She now is a bigger fall risk and they make her wear a belt that someone has to hold for her to walk. Last Sunday she was getting out of the hospital bed all and they found her practically marching down the hall. Now she is afraid to walk. Since I will be watching her next week I suggested she use the bathroom and asked lead cousin to show me how she handles things. Let's just say I will be bringing gloves with me. Cousin complained ... and I said I understood, but it's the age. At a point your body starts to break down. I wanted to add "you dumb F@k".
I sat with my aunt for a couple hours. We talked. At points she was uncomfortable and said she was in pain. I asked her to describe it and she said she really wasn't in pain but she didn't know what was wrong. She had a pain in her back and showed me. It was the waistline of her depends. The elastic was snug against he skin. I pulled the waist band back with my finger and she said that's better. Well, I can't take off your depends. Then her feet hurt and I took off her sock and immediately that felt better. She doesn't want to wear socks, depends or pants so she is making that irritation pain. I think maybe a low does of gabapentin might help...it doesn't take away pain but it does change the way your brain processes it.
It's rather sad. I think the cousins need someone to come in a couple of days who is not family just so they can think straight and get their heads out of their asses. Something like hospice, but not hospice because if she falls again or gets sick they want her to have medical help.
She is moaning almost all the time. She is talking to Jesus. The cousins are yelling asking what is wrong and want to fix things...but the yelling isn't helping. The moaning and odd breathing is usually one of three things... pain, a presentation of a type of dementia, or end of life stuff. My grandmother was that way for 6 months before she passed and it was a form of dementia. My mother was that way too.
I asked my Aunt if she would like to sit in her room and we could talk. She now is a bigger fall risk and they make her wear a belt that someone has to hold for her to walk. Last Sunday she was getting out of the hospital bed all and they found her practically marching down the hall. Now she is afraid to walk. Since I will be watching her next week I suggested she use the bathroom and asked lead cousin to show me how she handles things. Let's just say I will be bringing gloves with me. Cousin complained ... and I said I understood, but it's the age. At a point your body starts to break down. I wanted to add "you dumb F@
k". I sat with my aunt for a couple hours. We talked. At points she was uncomfortable and said she was in pain. I asked her to describe it and she said she really wasn't in pain but she didn't know what was wrong. She had a pain in her back and showed me. It was the waistline of her depends. The elastic was snug against he skin. I pulled the waist band back with my finger and she said that's better. Well, I can't take off your depends. Then her feet hurt and I took off her sock and immediately that felt better. She doesn't want to wear socks, depends or pants so she is making that irritation pain. I think maybe a low does of gabapentin might help...it doesn't take away pain but it does change the way your brain processes it.
It's rather sad. I think the cousins need someone to come in a couple of days who is not family just so they can think straight and get their heads out of their asses. Something like hospice, but not hospice because if she falls again or gets sick they want her to have medical help.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 08:28 am (UTC)Do the depends come in bigger sizes?
Sadly, it does sound like your Aunt has taken a decline for the worse. :(
I do hope the cousins are ready for all this. :o
Hugs, Jon
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 10:28 am (UTC)I believe part of the problem these days is the amount of work people have to do. They have full time demanding jobs and they are not getting more than 2 or 3 hours sleep. Both of the healthy sisters have to work to keep healthcare. One has enough in a 401k and is 62, but she does not have enough to get a full healthcare policy without having medicare. The other part is just that they are too used to getting what they want...and karma is being a bitch.
They also should know because their grandmother died in the house, She lived with them for 5 years, but that was 30 years ago and they forget. Ready of not here it comes.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 11:47 am (UTC)At least there is more then one of them to help take care of her.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 10:23 am (UTC)also if the Depends are leaving a line on her skin, they may have bought her the wrong size. elderly skin cam get very, very thin, and the rubbing of tight fabric/elastic can go from irritation to actual pain. i'm not there to know, but larger Depends are an idea.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 10:34 am (UTC)The depends are loose enough that there are no marks. She is in an extra large and only weighs 100 pounds. If bigger they would fall off. They even cut notches in the waist. She just dissent want them on and can feel them.
I think they should start asking about hospice and what it entails.
no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 11:14 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-09-02 03:32 pm (UTC)