Sigh... there are reasons
Mar. 8th, 2024 05:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravena_kadeToday I get a call from lead cousin at 7 AM while I am in work. Her text asked if I had time for a question about Dad's open heart surgery. Ok. I thought maybe her brother had questions about it and I was going to tell her that I would go visit at 3:30.
Nope it wasn't that. She apologized for flipping out and throwing things on Sunday. I said that I knew she was under a lot of stress. Well.. it turns out that the sister with the bad back that is basically an invalid has bad news. Last Saturday when they said they had a dentist appointment they really didn't. Lead cousin took her sister for a PET scan. They did not want anyone to know (why???). That's why everyone was screaming, they were "worried" about the results. The results came back yesterday afternoon. It's Blood cancer.
It turns out that an MRI for the upper back caught a small mass. This type of cancer causes the blood cells to bunch up, they sit on the bone or in the bone and then the bone rots away.
Why call me at the work? Because they wanted to tell their Mom today and Dad tonight and they know that Dad doesn't explain things well to me. They didnt want me upset tonight. Umm...yeah... at work is better.
My Reaction... tiny bit stunned that it was cancer. I told the cousin that I knew it was something else than a bad back because the sister said she was nauseous a lot and it hurt to even butter toast. Sigh/ I said they could tell Dad and he may not react a lot. It's his way. He will be okay.
I feel that lead cousin was expecting more shock from me... but the thing is one day I went to a hospital thinking things were fine and I had to sign papers to euthanize my Mother. That and I thought I poisoned Dad with a laxative after his heart surgery and cried all night in an ER (the cardiac dr didnt tell me until midnight that his BP just dropped and had nothing to do with me). I haven't got many shocks left.
Lead cousin said that they were going to let the med people handle it. They don't look up stuff on line. They dont want to know.
Okay so I wont tell then what I already know. A cousin died 12 years ago from a "rare" blood cancer. An Aunt died in 2021 from a rare blood cancer. I looked it up back then when the Aunt died and this shit is genetic. The Aunt died because she didn't want treatment during COVID. She didn't want to die alone in a hospital. Sad. This cousin's cancer is the same. You can live with it for 5 to 20 years with proper treatment.
My concern is that it is genetic. One more thing to watch out for. I feel like crap. It could be because I am fat. It could be because I am starting my Dad's heart disease route. I watch my eyes as macular degeneration is running in the family. An Uncle and a cousin (oldest sister to the main cousins) are going blind . Personally I still think it stems from my relationship with food and lack of sleep.
And is it selfish that what bothers me is that here we have a person who has worked hard all their life...saved all the right amounts of money and instead of retiring she gets cancer treatments. ... I need to paint and do. I can't until 62 to do what I want...it may not come.
Nope it wasn't that. She apologized for flipping out and throwing things on Sunday. I said that I knew she was under a lot of stress. Well.. it turns out that the sister with the bad back that is basically an invalid has bad news. Last Saturday when they said they had a dentist appointment they really didn't. Lead cousin took her sister for a PET scan. They did not want anyone to know (why???). That's why everyone was screaming, they were "worried" about the results. The results came back yesterday afternoon. It's Blood cancer.
It turns out that an MRI for the upper back caught a small mass. This type of cancer causes the blood cells to bunch up, they sit on the bone or in the bone and then the bone rots away.
Why call me at the work? Because they wanted to tell their Mom today and Dad tonight and they know that Dad doesn't explain things well to me. They didnt want me upset tonight. Umm...yeah... at work is better.
My Reaction... tiny bit stunned that it was cancer. I told the cousin that I knew it was something else than a bad back because the sister said she was nauseous a lot and it hurt to even butter toast. Sigh/ I said they could tell Dad and he may not react a lot. It's his way. He will be okay.
I feel that lead cousin was expecting more shock from me... but the thing is one day I went to a hospital thinking things were fine and I had to sign papers to euthanize my Mother. That and I thought I poisoned Dad with a laxative after his heart surgery and cried all night in an ER (the cardiac dr didnt tell me until midnight that his BP just dropped and had nothing to do with me). I haven't got many shocks left.
Lead cousin said that they were going to let the med people handle it. They don't look up stuff on line. They dont want to know.
Okay so I wont tell then what I already know. A cousin died 12 years ago from a "rare" blood cancer. An Aunt died in 2021 from a rare blood cancer. I looked it up back then when the Aunt died and this shit is genetic. The Aunt died because she didn't want treatment during COVID. She didn't want to die alone in a hospital. Sad. This cousin's cancer is the same. You can live with it for 5 to 20 years with proper treatment.
My concern is that it is genetic. One more thing to watch out for. I feel like crap. It could be because I am fat. It could be because I am starting my Dad's heart disease route. I watch my eyes as macular degeneration is running in the family. An Uncle and a cousin (oldest sister to the main cousins) are going blind . Personally I still think it stems from my relationship with food and lack of sleep.
And is it selfish that what bothers me is that here we have a person who has worked hard all their life...saved all the right amounts of money and instead of retiring she gets cancer treatments. ... I need to paint and do. I can't until 62 to do what I want...it may not come.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 12:46 am (UTC)HUGS, Jon
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 01:43 am (UTC)Thinking of you and your family. Again, sorry to hear you guys are dealing with this sad news.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 04:33 am (UTC)You know that saying, We Can Do Hard Things? We can. Yes. But it would be great to have a break from dealing with hard things. There are too many hard things.
Sending hugs....
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 08:47 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 01:08 pm (UTC)i hope you manage to have a good weekend, and that you get to paint. <3
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 04:54 pm (UTC)Dad is off to the casino so I can relax.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 03:31 pm (UTC)You can live with it for 5 to 20 years with proper treatment.
And it sounds like they've already given her up for dead? =(
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 04:53 pm (UTC)The good news is that the medical people told them not to cancel the big family trip to North Carolina. They can relax then.
Frankly I think they all need a tranquilizer and just calm down.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-09 05:25 pm (UTC)And, that you're so tired. I'm sure that doesn't make you feel great no matter your age or health.
I hope you can get some rest.
no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 04:12 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2024-03-11 09:31 pm (UTC)