(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

7 years ago was my first ambulance ride ever. Ma had fallen and broke her arm. The next 2 months were torture.

My anxiety levels a are high.

I had PTO today planned today. Dad has a cardiologist appointment in the middle of the day. I will tae us an hour to get there. Dad can get himself to appointments, but he really doesn't understand all the medical stuff. Good medical people will explain in ways that he gets it...but many NPs just dont have time to break it down as many are seeing 15 or 20 patients a day.

Comments

[fbhjr]

Sorry about your anxiety.
Hopefully things will go well.

[ravena_kade]

Thank you.

It should ease up with time. I have to get so many things lined up before my termination date. I had pto today so I could work on my list.

[disneydream06]

It's always good to have a back up set of ears when going to the doctor. :)
Hugs, Jon

[brickhousewench]

It's been seven years. Don't you think it's time to forgive yourself for not being able to control your very stubborn mother?

Every time you've talked about her, I got the impression that she was a stubborn woman. It was her choice to not tell anyone she was losing her vision. Which meant you couldn't make her home safer for her because you just didn't know. It was her choice not to eat when she was in the hospital, which meant her body couldn't heal. You were not going to be able to bully her out of her belief that if she was in the hospital, that she was going to die, if that's what was at the root of her panic.

I just hate to see you keep beating yourself up for something that WAS NOT YOUR FAULT. You did everything you could. But your mother was not doing everything she could to get better.

[ravena_kade]

It's hard.

I have PTSD. I know it.

[brickhousewench]

I don't think it helped that your family didn't have a funeral. You needed to grieve her with family, but never got that chance.

[ravena_kade]

Some of its that and the fact that all the rest of the family left me right away to go to Florida but I still had to entertain Texas Uncle and Aunt as they stayed until after Thanksgiving but didn't want to even mention that my Mother was dead. It was an emotional shit show for me to say the least.