Sooooooo....
Dec. 9th, 2022 06:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravena_kadeDad's BP was in the low normals for a couple days. I am DREADING each time I take it.
We had hour first visit to the cardiologist yesterday and it was not positive. It wasn't negative. It just left us in LIMBO. I guess Dad's heart is more damaged than the hospital people are saying. The cardiologist really didn't say a lot. He offered not much in the way of guidance. I think he was taken back by an 80 year old wanting to know when he could drive and go back to work. I think Dad would be okay if he wanted to retire, but he does not want stay at home at all. Sigh.
He wanted us to see a specialist. Okay. Down the Cape ...ummm...I can see Boston from my window. There must be a heart failure specialist in Boston . Sigh. He said there should be and would get us a referral.
He booked a stress test for January 11. I don't think I can sit on Dad that long. Our next cardiologist visit is Jan 26. What am I supposed to do until then just wait for his heart to fail? I have no action plan. No do. No guidance on how to make him stronger.
I asked the cardiologists opinion about me leaving him alone. I need to go to work 2 days a week. He said It should be okay.
It also makes me feel like that any of my strengths and all the things I do and give up really don't matter since I get crap because I don't drive to cart him to these far reaching appointments at the drop of a hat. Oh and that I am not retired to have a free schedule to get him everywhere... Its a shame I have to work.
I know that in the end I want to do what will make Dad happy... living caged, even if it is in a cushy recliner in front of a giant TV is not what he wants now. So I get him through these visits. I look forward to seeing the specialist and I just try and make small steps forward. Walking and being able to climb stairs.
He wants to get a ride to the job. The boss knows he can only supervise. We shall see what happens. I hope to keep him home until after Christmas. And I have to believe that what ever happens is not mine to control. That is the hard part.
We had hour first visit to the cardiologist yesterday and it was not positive. It wasn't negative. It just left us in LIMBO. I guess Dad's heart is more damaged than the hospital people are saying. The cardiologist really didn't say a lot. He offered not much in the way of guidance. I think he was taken back by an 80 year old wanting to know when he could drive and go back to work. I think Dad would be okay if he wanted to retire, but he does not want stay at home at all. Sigh.
He wanted us to see a specialist. Okay. Down the Cape ...ummm...I can see Boston from my window. There must be a heart failure specialist in Boston . Sigh. He said there should be and would get us a referral.
He booked a stress test for January 11. I don't think I can sit on Dad that long. Our next cardiologist visit is Jan 26. What am I supposed to do until then just wait for his heart to fail? I have no action plan. No do. No guidance on how to make him stronger.
I asked the cardiologists opinion about me leaving him alone. I need to go to work 2 days a week. He said It should be okay.
It also makes me feel like that any of my strengths and all the things I do and give up really don't matter since I get crap because I don't drive to cart him to these far reaching appointments at the drop of a hat. Oh and that I am not retired to have a free schedule to get him everywhere... Its a shame I have to work.
I know that in the end I want to do what will make Dad happy... living caged, even if it is in a cushy recliner in front of a giant TV is not what he wants now. So I get him through these visits. I look forward to seeing the specialist and I just try and make small steps forward. Walking and being able to climb stairs.
He wants to get a ride to the job. The boss knows he can only supervise. We shall see what happens. I hope to keep him home until after Christmas. And I have to believe that what ever happens is not mine to control. That is the hard part.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 12:15 pm (UTC)He's fantastic.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 02:20 pm (UTC)in a demented-humor way I had this thought about making him a hand-pump that's connected to his heart and artificial system so he has to sit there and squeeze a hand-pump to keep his ticker going. Make him work for it. Because I'm sure you're getting frustrated with him in that he wants to be "active" yet also wants to just potato in front of the TV, and complain the whole time. Meanwhile he has no idea how you're frantically trying to keep him alive.
no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 02:53 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-09 07:52 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-12-10 01:09 am (UTC)So frustrating.
I wish you had gotten some better answers.
I hear you about working and taking care family members. UGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Prayers continue...
HUGS, Jon