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Nov. 26th, 2022 03:23 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ravena_kadeSo I melted down on my Texas Uncle. All the stress all the fear all the Im still angry that I had to be in charge of my Mother's death... Scared him. He called to check on me Friday. That was nice. He suggested getting something to help...its either panic attack or anxiety attack...or both. I think I will. My issue is that I cant focus on the "NOW" Its alway been my problem. It's part of the root of why I dont drive.
On Thursday after a Day with the cousins, I received a call saying that the Covid area could not give Dad the best treatment and he needed to go back to ICU. They had put him on a drug that has been described a last chance hope drug for people awaiting heart transplants. I freaked out all alone and reached out to someone who has known me for 40 years.. and knows about my focus issue and how I was spinning way off into a bad future. Then the Texas Uncle called and well...
They put in a catheter through his neck that will monitor the heart to see what is going on and then will adjust his meds. I asked if the goal was to get him home as last nights calls and thoughts had me scared. She said he is responding well but they have work to do. He also was building up fluids...no shit as he was taken off fluid pills on 11/17. The have him on pills that have gotten rid to 5 liters of fluid so far. The meds they want to use need to raise his BP and get the heart pump as it should and then he will be on a daily fluid pill as well as heart meds.
The covid protocols suck... I cant see him. I was able to pass his cell phone through a door and he got it. I could not bring him any decent food. =( maybe I can see him in 10 days...maybe he will be home by then. Im okay with keeping him in until they come up with a medical plan that will work, but he is getting ready depressed in there.
On Thursday after a Day with the cousins, I received a call saying that the Covid area could not give Dad the best treatment and he needed to go back to ICU. They had put him on a drug that has been described a last chance hope drug for people awaiting heart transplants. I freaked out all alone and reached out to someone who has known me for 40 years.. and knows about my focus issue and how I was spinning way off into a bad future. Then the Texas Uncle called and well...
They put in a catheter through his neck that will monitor the heart to see what is going on and then will adjust his meds. I asked if the goal was to get him home as last nights calls and thoughts had me scared. She said he is responding well but they have work to do. He also was building up fluids...no shit as he was taken off fluid pills on 11/17. The have him on pills that have gotten rid to 5 liters of fluid so far. The meds they want to use need to raise his BP and get the heart pump as it should and then he will be on a daily fluid pill as well as heart meds.
The covid protocols suck... I cant see him. I was able to pass his cell phone through a door and he got it. I could not bring him any decent food. =( maybe I can see him in 10 days...maybe he will be home by then. Im okay with keeping him in until they come up with a medical plan that will work, but he is getting ready depressed in there.
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Date: 2022-11-26 08:35 pm (UTC)You’re welcome to call us if needed as well.
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Date: 2022-11-26 09:04 pm (UTC)I will.
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Date: 2022-11-27 09:07 am (UTC)Don't they have ipads or something that you can facetime with your dad? Mayo invested a small fortune in ipads during the height of the pandemic so that people would be able to chat with the relatives when the hospital went into lock down, and visitors weren't allowed.
I hope you can find somebody/your doctor to talk to about your panic/anxiety attacks. :o
HUGS, Jon
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Date: 2022-11-27 09:00 pm (UTC)