(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

My sister and s/0 are driving me crazy. Everything I need to do is hampered by them. They add 4 hours to my day. It takes then 25 minutes just to get out of a car.

They want to help but wont do anything I need help with.

She wont make phone calls to help me.

I said that we should go over to see Dad at different times... she does not want to do that.

It frustrates me to no end.

She extended her stay a week... she will fuck up everything I need to do and when Dad comes home she will disappear.

****

Good news... the phone only rang a couple times today.

Good news I watched my Dad walk since his heart failure. There were 4 people carrying all the wires and machines he is on. It made me cry. He looks better, but his heart is still beating wrong because of the bypass.

Bad News... I am not sure I can handle his care as a single. I dont know how many weeks it will be before he can be left alone for a coupe hours.

I asked my sister if she could come home to be with Dad so I could go on that North Carolina trip. She said no because she was going away and would not change her plans. No reservations or tickets have been made. It is driving someplace to visit friends. I am the one that has to give up everything.

She is not being mean. She is just not taking any responsibility for anything. It's selfish.

Comments

[fbhjr]

Sorry for the lack of support you’re getting.

[chris_warrior]

gah, hon. i feel horrible about how your sister is acting. BLEAH. i wish i could rant and say i expected better, but when this type of stuff happens... people seem to double down. :(

[fionaniconnor]

Medical stress messes with people pretty badly, honestly.

If you need respite care (somebody to take over for you when you need a break),take advantage of it. Ask the Visiting Nurses what options are available to you; they will be able to help. And make sure Dad has a PCA (personal care attendant) during his coalescence. It will do you both a world of good.

[brickhousewench]

^ This. Don't try to do it all by yourself, it will exhaust you.

[fionaniconnor]

Yes it will. Been there, done that.

And then you will resent not only your Dad but also your sister. Not good.

[disneydream06]

I am so sorry.
I know about selfish relatives. :( :( :(

I would say it sounds like your dad could use a stint in a rehab facility or nursing home for some therapy.
Is that an option?
HUGS, Jon

[ravena_kade]

My Mom went into a rehab for a broken arm because I could not be with her all day. They gave her C Diff and tried to hide it. She had a broken arm going in and she was dead less than 2 months later. She was in agony and no one would help us. She called me at night screaming. The state would not let me take her home because she was blind and they said she was an elder at risk. The day the docs said her arm was heeled was the day they said she would have to have 100% of her intestines removed because the C Diff was so bad and they didnt think she could survive that so I had to sign papers to let her pass...all she had was a broken arm. I feel like I killed her.

I wont put my Dad in a rehab. Unless you are rich no one cares for you.

[disneydream06]

OMg, I am so sorry.
Please don't blame yourself though.
{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

[brickhousewench]

Why stay if you're not going to actually help? What's the point?

[ravena_kade]

Guilt.

She didnt make it for my Mom as I thought it was just a broken arm and I would need her when Mom came home.

[brickhousewench]

That guilt needs to come with a side of action. Because just being there? NOT HELPING.