(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

Friday there were issues with the work files, but my team leader pulled reports and I was able to work. Using them would shave some time off my job. Now I just need to get the application added to my computer so I can tae this function over. I would like that. I was pretty exhausted from the stress of the week... I should not have stress from this boring job. The team leader seems to care and she does things that moves towards less frustration.


I tried to to talk to Dad about the fact that I need a break from all the stress...I need some help with things around the house, etc. His answer was that I didn't have choice. I have to do everything. I know he doesn't get it, and I didn't want to yell. Sigh. I told him that he needs to understand that I always have a choice... Its called the front door.

No, I dont want a smaller house...

Yesterday was a N'or Easter that stayed rain in my area. AT one point it changed to snow, but it wasn't cold enough to stick to the ground. Thank goodness because if it was snow we would be buried. I spent the day wrapping the Christmas gifts that need to be shipped out...Most were purchased at a tiny store called Native and are all hand made fare trade items. I also make a recipe called Italian wedding casserole. Its a penne, spinach and meatball casserole in an Italian white sauce. VERY RICH, but Good on a crappy night...and it makes enough to feed an army.

Today is a ceramic class with the cousins. 2 of the cousins have Christmas gifts to work on.
There is a 4:25 football game on so I will leave early and Dad will stay to watch the game... I will have the house to myself. Yay.

Next week is a short week. I have 2 vacation days. One day I will visit the friends in the elder housing. I am listed as a PCA to one of them. They are having a hard time with with death of the sister back in October and their real nieces and nephews mostly believe that COVID is a hoax so they are afraid to get help from them.

The next day I may see about My Christmas Gift. Dad gave me money so I am going to get my iPad. I could not get it earlier because of the plumbing adventure a couple months ago (well worth the trouble as I enjoy watching my tub drain every morning). Part of me wants to buy it and take it home because shipping now is such a PITA.

Comments

[cmcmck]

There is always a choice and his failure to understand that is not clever.

My parents are now elderly and in need of help and they don't have a daughter to give that due to similar attitudes.............

[chris_warrior]

this. i have to wonder if i hadn't endured the relationship with my ex - and thus now understood the issues i've always had with my mother, and how she is - if i'd actually be able to be sticking around now. it's not easy, to be sure, but there is a certain freedom to understanding a family dynamic, and trying to work within it - given that knowledge - to lower your stress. i have no good advice for what you're going through now, Jen, but know i'm wishing you luck. and if you find your limit, i'll help however i can. <3

[brickhousewench]

I need some help with things around the house, etc. His answer was that I didn't have choice. I have to do everything. I know he doesn't get it, and I didn't want to yell.

I don't know if this would work, but instead of asking, would he do things if you just gave him a chore list? How did you mom get him to do things (or did he not help her either?)?

[ravena_kade]

Dad didnt need to help Ma. She was the house wife and believed her job was to cook big meals every day, make lunches, and keep the house clean and write the bills, She dint want his help. I only started doing the food shopping when she started loosing her vision.

The thing is that Dad does keep his apartment really tidy and takes care of his laundry and does dishes, but he does nor read so he cant pay bills, go shopping for a full food order, make out bills. He used to only get money orders for Bills and my Mother would make them out. The world is so computer centric and he cant do that. And now with this sheltering in place and not going to stores much everything is ordered on line. He cant do that. He cant even figure out how to watch a movie on netflx.

and he doesn't do direct deposit so I have no idea where all his money really goes aside from paying bills. He makes a lot more than I do... If I made what he made I could run the whole house and he could retire.

All of that and this working from at home isn't great for me. I panic every time my internet flickers because then I cant work. I really cant go anywhere to relax. I couldn't even makeitg to my beach this year. I'd like to hire someone for a couple days to help me clean and get back into the craft room, but with COVID I cant do that.

[brickhousewench]

Oh goodness, he really did rely on your mother for just about everything didn't he? =(

I still think it's rather unfair of him to say "You don't have a choice."