(no subject)

[ravena_kade]

The loss of my friend's husband has me in a weird head space.

This is the anniversary week of my Mom's final days so the hospital talk just put me there.

I am not sleeping properly. I think I need to see someone about that.

It plays on my mind that the is still not gone, but is gone. Are you gone when your brain stops or when everything stops. It's a limbo.

Someone told that once they harvest the organs that the wife would have go back to the hospital and re identify the body.

A few other people, who are not doctors or nurses, but work in the health field that once you are a donor that they medical people may not act within your families best interest...because they know that there may be 3 or4 people on a list out there with parts that you have that they need and can take so they keep your body going... but really can't tell your family in that way... and that's why they did not tell my friend about the brain death on Monday. These people were not together and said almost the same thing and sited a particular medical training class they took. One told me this on Tuesday. One said it Friday, and one said it at the craft show yesterday. Weird... and sad...

... and I talked about it with my Dad... as he is a donor and I am a donor... just so we both know, just in case. And we still are donors.

Oh well... I wanted to write it down... get it out of my head. I can nap today as I planned to do nothing...and I have tomorrow off too for Veteran's Day, a bank holiday.

Comments

[fionaniconnor]

It is extraordinarily and wildly unethical of a medical professional to avoid trying to save the life of an organ donor. Not to mention extremely illegal. I would like to think better of the medicos in this country than that.

I am very surprised Friend wasn't kept more up-to-date on her husband's deteriorating condition; I can't make up my mind from your posts whether the hospital was shitty about updating or whether Friend was just in too much a state of shock to be her own best advocate.

[ravena_kade]

She kept asking if he would wake up, and they kept saying it could take time...She even had a friend who was a retired OR nurse ask questions with her. They said he had a slight fracture and she asked if he would be paralyzed... they said no, it was insignificant. We don't understand why they didn't scan the brain after raising his core temp. She asked the questions she knew to ask... she wanted to save hime. They were interested in his heart and kidneys / organ function and did those tests first. While I don't believe they were ghouls waiting for organs...I do think the order of testing was wrong...not that he suffered, but the wife did.

I know with us at 8 PM on a Friday 3 years ago they said my Mom was fine and the antibiotics would work... and at 7 AM Saturday morning when I went into be with her they said she would die if we didn't take out all of her upper and lower intestines. The surgeon didn't think she would survive that. I asked about the meds they were giving her and the surgeon said that the meds would have never worked on her... so yea, I don't have any trust in medical people updating.

[macklagee]

It sounds like a horrible situation all around- I'm so sorry :(

[ravena_kade]

it is just so sad.

[brickhousewench]

Someone told that once they harvest the organs that the wife would have go back to the hospital and re identify the body.

Why would you have to identify a body that you already know the identity of? I don't believe that is the case at all.

Also the whole part about keeping someone alive longer than necessary because they're an organ donor sounds wildly unethical to me. And hospitals have entire boards of people that deal with medical ethics.